partybarackisinthehousetonight:
i imagine adulthood to be like one of those “choose your own adventure” books except each choice is terrible
I’m 36 and I’m here to tell you that this is basically true.
^^ the woman who played Matilda
(via bessicajach)
Jay Gatsby time travels to the future and ends up in my living room. I am using a television. He does not seem to know what it is. Gatsby is obviously distressed and confused. He is visibly struggling. He does not know what to say. He tries to bond with me.
“Old sport?” he ventures. “No,” I say. I turn to face him and whip off my sunglasses dramatically. I have been playing Wii tennis the entire time.
“New sport.”
I have broken him.